Kitten Troubles
by luffyluffy
Summary: Due to a transmutation mishap Ed get's turned into a cat and Roy and CO have to find a way to change him back while dealing with a kitten -DISCONTINUED-
1. Transmutation

Kitty Troubles

Chapter 1 

"AL!! ALPHONSE!!"

Ed ran down the dark alleyway screaming out his little brothers name. He was on the trail of a AWOL state alchemist who had kidnapped his brother Al.

"GOD DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU BASTARD?! GIMME BACK MY LITTLE BROTHER!!"

His voice carried in the narrow ally echoing back to him a little as he screamed.

"Fu fu fu…"

The laugh startled him.

"IT'S YOU!1"

He screamed

"WHERE IS AL?!"

"Al? Ah yes…you mean that hulking suit of armor I kidnapped!"

Ed's eyes shone with anger.

"WHERE IS AL DAMN IT!"

He screamed again.

"Hm…Lets see."

He put a hand on his chin in mock thinking.

"Why in the starting point of your search for him Central City!"

"Cen...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PULLING?!"

Ed screamed at him again.

"Why it's easy to figure it out Fullmetal Alchemist! Your brother never left Central! This was just a decoy to lure you away from the hustle and bustle of the big city!"

The alchemist sneered and Ed's anger boiled over.

"Damn it!"

He snarled.

"Well seeing as Al's not here...I might as well leave!"\

He turned around with a swish of his trench coat.

"Fu fu fu…That's one thing that's not going to happen Fullmetal Alchemist!"

The array underneath Edwards feel glowed.

"DIE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!"

The alchemist clapped his hands and slammed his hands down onto the circle.

"Mew?"

A small golden kitten looked down from a window ledge from above the alleyway.

"Mew!"

It jumped of the window ledge to the edge a circle drawn in white chalk. He walked inside of it sniffing the white markings that covered the ground. Suddenly it glowed and a man screamed. The kitten felt all it's life force flowing from his body to the body of a young boys in the middle of the circle.

…_My head hurts…Mmmmmm…I want to sleep alittle longer…_

He curled into a ball tucking his legs into his body.

…_The warmth feels good…_

"When do you think it's going to wake up?"

"Who knows…"

"Well Chief if it does let me take care of it first!"

"Why you Havoc so you can use it to get a girlfriend? 'Oh look at me! I have a kitten! That makes me so much cuter then the Colonel!'"

"S-Shut up! I just have a way with animals that's all!"

"Why not me? I've always wanted a pet…"

"Because your dorm doesn't allow pets Furey."

"Oh…right."

I felt someone tuck a hand under my side and cradled me gently.

"It's alright little kitty…I've got you…"

Who ever was holding my smelt weird. Not bad just…weird. I opened my eyes.

"H-Hey…can anybody hear me?"

I called out.

"Ah…Hey! Havoc He's awake!"

Ah…So he must be called "Havoc." I wondered why but didn't really give it a thought. I felt him move and we moved together to a different spot in the room. I lifted my head to look around. Their were desks all pushed together in the middle of the strange room. Something felt cool against my body and I looked towards my arm and my leg. I licked them.

"Hey hey…Don't worry little guy. I've got ya."

A hand slipped under my bottem and I was helfed onto the shoulder of the man who named "Havoc" and I found myself staring into a pair of shiny blue eyes, above those eyes a big golden puff of hair. I want to touch it. I reached out my paw and smacked it and watched "Havoc" Laugh.

"See?! I told you I'm good with animals!"

I looked to my left and my right and saw some wooden things touching the ground. I wanted to play around them...I started to squirm out of "Havocs" grip.

"Hey buddy? Whats wrong?"

Hey! Let me down! I want to play over there!

"Havoc" cocked his head. The boy called "Furey" walked over and picked me up before putting me on the ground.

"There you go little guy!"

Little? Who the hell is he calling little?! I jumped up and violently scratched at him face. WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'S NO BIGGER THEN A NEWBORN KITTEN?1 The boy fell back and scrampered over to "Havoc" sheets of tears flowing down his eyes. After that I scampered off into the wooden forest and started to play.

"See how great cats are? Cat's are SOOO much better the dogs."

A man exclaimed looking down at me. He was big and heavy. Kinda like a piece of this guy in a big red suit and a red hat I saw once. I think people called him...Santa. Maybe this guy's Santa? But wheres his rd hat and suit? Maybe he forgot it today! After I had told myself that was the answer I heard the door open.

"So where is he?"

"Under the desk Sir."

The man knelt down and grabbed my by the nap of my neck. Hey! Stop that! That hurts!

"Ug...Cat's. Of all animals Fullmetal could have been fused with it had to be a Cat?"

Fullmetal? Who was Fullmetal?

"Sir Let me hold it. Your hurting it."

"No no Lieutenant. I've got it."

"So have you morons desided a name for this thing?"

The man said loudly before dropping me on his desk. Ow! That hurt! Watch it! "Havoc" Spook up.

"Why not call him Fullmetal Sir?"

Theres that word again...Wonder what it means. Furey came out from behind the couch and hiccuped out.

"F-Fullmetal's too conspicuous. If the alchemist that did this to Ed found out about what happened he'd try to hurt us all down. Let's just call him Ed."

The man who threw me on his desk stood up.

"I agree."

He picked me up my the nape of my neck again

"Your name is Edward. Got it? Edward."

Edward? I'm Edward? Edward...That sounds like a nice name.


	2. Going to Havoc's House

Chapter 2

After the man put me down I roamed around the room.

"Hey! Edward!"

I looked up and saw a piece of meat in Santa's hand.

"Come here!"

I stepped over caushishly before smelling it a little.

"It's alright. I wouldnt poison a cute little kitty! Only evil dogs!"

I gave it a lick. I gave it another lick. I ate it off the palm of his hand.

"That's a good boy!"

Santa boomed with exzuberance! He scratched gently at the bottem of my chin before giving me a smiloe and turned back to do his desk. I looked around and walked over to the woman with the beast from before. Jumping on her desk a sniffled around her papers. She smiled at me for a secend before picking me up and putting me back on the floor. Pouting alittle I roamed around untill I got to the black haired boy with big glasses who I scratched earlier. I jumped onto his desk and-while he jumped a little-he smiled too and gently scratched behind my ears. I purred a little before my head dropped into my lap and I curled into a ball.  
I must have asleep because when the Glasses woke me up he said

"It's time go home Edward!"

I looked up sleepily before jumping off Glasses's lap.

"So..."

I heard Santa begin

"Who should get him first?"

"Havoc" Spoke up first.

"Let me!"

"Fine. Let's just get this thing out of my office!"

Smoky snapped loudy and "Havoc" Picked me up.

"Come on little buddy! We just got to stop by my locker before we go home."

Alright alright! I was cradled into "Havoc"'s Chest and I fell asleep again.


	3. Sammy

OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
Smoky-Roy

Roy's name is subject to change if I feel like it OH! And dont forget Darling Maes! He's in the Military too! pause AND HE'S NOT DEAD HERE!! -clings to Hughes-Mine.

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Chapter 3

I was suddenly jarred awake when a loud mellalic ringing filled my ears. "Havoc" skipped over to the sorce of the noise and picked up up.

"Ya? Oh...Hi Mom"

Mom? This seemed interesting so I laid my head back down and pretended to be asleep. "Havoc" droned on.

"No Mom...Yes Mom...No Mom...Yes I change my underwear everyday Mom..."

A secend beeping filled that air this time fron the kitchen

"AH! SHIT! YES MOM I CURSED! SHIT SHIT SHIT!"

Havoc ran to the oven and tryed to balance the thing he kept calling Mom on his shoulder and pulled the oven open to find his roast demolished. I jumped up and ran over before pouncing on the piece of meat. "Havoc" smiled at me for a moment.

"Good kitty"

I heard him say before he picked up Mom and went into his room. A few minutes later I heard another ring and Havoc bolted out of his room.

"COMMING SAMMY!"

Who's "Sammy"? What the hell is going on?! "Havoc" Is mine!

"Havoc" opened the door and there stood a beautiful woman. I hissed at her.

"Hey now Ed! Dont hiss at the girlfriend!"

He gave me a soft kick and I stumbled into Havoc's room. I heard the door click. Damn! It's locked! Alright...Fine! I'll just have to kick this "Sammy" Person out! "Havoc" is MY pet not HERS!!


	4. EvilHavocStealingWitch

OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
Smoky-StupidPirateBrigiderGeneral  
Sammy-Evil "Havoc" Stealing Witch

YAY! Edo-Chan speeks in this chapter! But the speeking has a twist. Since Ed is mostly KITTEN he speeks Kitten So when Ed says "Hi!" Havoc, Roy, Maes and the rest hear "Meow!"

It's an inside joke between my friends. Stupid refers to the fact that he let Maes die(And get married to a woman of ALL things ) Pirate refers to the fact that He's got an eyepatch(Arrg!)Brigider General is his rank at the end of the movie. Of corse KittenEd doesnt know this but hey It's my story and I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT!!

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I smushed my head aganist the floor to check out the hole on the bottem of the door. It was particularly big and both my front paw's slipped under with ease.I flattened my ears and slowly stuffed my head under the door. Then I twisted my body and I slipped out from under the door. A few feet infront of me I saw the Evil "Havoc" Stealing Witch's feet with perfictly painted toes. While I wanted to rip them to shread's I couldnt. Instead I thrust my tail into the air and walked out from underneath the table before rubbing my head aganist "Havocs" leg purring loudly as I could.

"H-Hey...How'd you get out of my room?"

"KKAAAYYYAAAAAAAA!!"

I flatened my ears against my hair when I heard the scream and "Havoc" who was halfway in the process of picking me up onto his lap nearly dropped me.

"S-Sammy! Whats wrong?!"

"J-J-J-JEAN!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

She pointed at me and screamed again diving behind the arm of the couch.

"Sammy its a...Cat..."

"NO IT'S NOT A CAT JEAN IT'S NOT A CAT! HELL IT HAS AUTOMAIL FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! IT'S A FITHLY LITTLE GERM FARM!!"

I could feel Havoc sigh beneath me.

"I WILL NOT DATE YOU WITH THIS MONGREL AROUND!! IT'S EATHER ME OR THE CAT JEAN!!"

"Havoc" looked down at me. I smiled at him and he gave me a polite scratch behind the ears.

"Samantha...I think It's time you left."


	5. Bacon

OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
Smoky-StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate  
Sammy-Evil "Havoc" Stealing Witch

Ok so yaaaaa...Ed didnt talk last chapter but the same rule applys this chapter.

StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate:It's an inside joke between my friends. Stupid refers to the fact that he let Maes die(And get married to a woman of ALL things ) Pirate refers to the fact that He's got an eyepatch(Arrg!)Brigider General is his rank at the end of the movie. Of corse KittenEd doesnt know this but hey It's my story and I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT!!

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"Hey..."

I looked up in the direction of the voice and stared straight into "Havoc"'s eyes. His voice sounded weird and I thought I might be schoulded for making Evil"Havoc"StealingWitch leave. But "Havoc" was MY pet! She had NO RIGHT TO TRY AND TAKE HIM AWAY!! I flinched as I saw his hand move toward my head and braced to be hit. Instead I felt him stratch behind my ears and I purred responsivly.

"You really saved me lit--Big guy!"

He smiled at me and I smiled too.

"Boy am I glad I didnt do anything too extream with her!!"

The room filled with his laugher and he picked me up.

"Want to go to my room?"

"Havoc" cradled me into his arms and and he stood up before walking into his room.

-----------The Next Day-----------

I woke up smelling food wafing in from the kitchen. I jumped off "Havoc"'s bed and stuck my head out the doorframe. I followed the sent untill I bumped my head into the leg of a chair with a soft _bump_.

"Oho! The king of the castle is finally up is he? Here you go Ed!"

"Havoc" put a dish of food down by my head. I gave it a sniff. It smelled nothing like the smell I had smelled before. "Havoc" put down a plate of nice crispy bacon and eggs before sitting down.

"Yummy Yummy Yummy!"

I jumped up and put my front paw's on "Havoc"'s leg and tryed to sniff the plate before I felt a hand lift me from his leg and place me on the floor.

"Now now! Your food is there!"

He pointed at the bowl of the yucky smelling stuff.

"This is my food not yours"

I could definitly smell what I had smelled before on "Havoc"'s plate. I jumped up into his lap and attempted to eat a piece of the brown wavy stuff.

"Hey!!"

I was picked up once again and placed on the floor. Ok! That was the last straw! I jumped bacik up onto his lap. He put his hand on the nap of my neck and I began to feel myself be lifted up. I dug my claw's into his unprotected leg drawing a small about of blood.

"AH! CRAP OW!!"

Instantly I jumped up onto the table and swiped a piece of the brown wavy stuff before jumping off the table and running into the living room. Thats what you get for not sharing!


	6. Strange Beast

OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate-Roy  
Evil"Havoc"StealingWitch-Sammy  
Birdy-Hawkeye

Ok so yaaaaa...Ed didnt talk last chapter but the same rule applys this chapter.

StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate:It's an inside joke between my friends. Stupid refers to the fact that he let Maes die(And get married to a woman of ALL things ) Pirate refers to the fact that He's got an eyepatch(Arrg!)Brigider General is his rank at the end of the movie. Of corse KittenEd doesnt know this but hey It's my story and I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT!

I'm SMHO sorry I havent updated sooner VV I've been super buzy and a Pokemon Obsession, Failing three classes, Writers Block, and having the Pokemon Obsession replaced with a Cowboy Bebop Obsession doesnt help.

CHAPTER 6

I walked in with "Havoc" that day clinging to one of his arms.

"Hey...You ok little guy? That dog was BIG man!"

"Yes I'm fine goddamn it! AND STOP CALLING ME LITTLE!"

"Havoc" put me on his desk and sat down at the other end. I quickly got bored and jumped down from his desk and desided to roam around the office. I jumped up onto the woman who followed StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate inside the room resterday. She smiled at me and gave me a pet. Her hair was in a bun help up my a clip. The clip looked like wood and had a tastie looking Birdy on it. Thats it! I'll call this woman BIRDY! Then was when I heard it. It was a like a dull rubbing sound. I jumped down from Birdys desk and headed towards the source of the sound. I was lead under a desk where a hand beccened me. I went close to it and it rubbed the back of my head. I couldnt help but purr. This guy was good. Then he stopped. I blinked and looked around. "Hey...? HEY! I WAS ENJOYING THAT!" The mans hands smacked my bottom. "Getta move on! If the lieutenant finds out we'll both be in trouble." I pouted sadly and shuffled out from under the desk. I played around in the rest of the room for a few minutes before desiding to settle in the stream of light that was warming a patch of floor. I walked over to it before streaching myself out. The warm sun felt good on my stomach and I quicky fell asleep.

When I woke up it must have been a few hours later as the room was dark.There was someone sitting at the desk with a light shining on the papers he was signing. I knew him...StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate. his head was down, as though he was attempting to sleep. I jumped onto the desk. It wasnt that late...Why was he asleep? I nuzzled his hand.

"Hey...Hey!!"

When he didnt move I started to get worried. Was he dead? He didnt smell of death... I nuzzled his head this time.

"C-C'mon...W-Wake up!!"

The door flew open a golden light shining on us before being blocked out by the silthouse of a giant being. Was it an alien? The furr on my back brissled. It stepped closer, the light once more entering the darked room. Who was this...? Who hurt StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate? And more importantly...Would this alien hurt me?


	7. Strange Beast Revisted!

OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate-Roy  
Evil"Havoc"StealingWitch-Sammy  
Birdy-Hawkeye

Ok so yaaaaa...Ed didnt talk last chapter but the same rule applys this chapter.StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate:It's an inside joke between my friends. Stupid refers to the fact that he let Maes die(And get married to a woman of ALL things ) Pirate refers to the fact that He's got an eyepatch(Arrg!)Brigider General is his rank at the end of the movie. Of corse KittenEd doesnt know this but hey It's my story and I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT!

Also: I'm RERERE-Obsessing woth Cowboy Bebop. Cant help it. Spike The NEW Maes :D

The light was blocked out. I was scared. I tryed everything I could in order to get StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate to wake up but nothing would work. My tail between my legs, my ears flat on my head I snuggled under his hand.

"Well world...It's been nice knowing you!!"

I cryed softly before burying my face into my paws. The light re entered the room. I drew my last breath.

"Hey...Hey Roy! Come on Man! WAKE UP! I cont these really cute pictures to show you!!"

The alien shook SBGP alittle and he groned before looking up.

"M-Maes...Huh? W-What time is it?"

"5:30. C'mon!! Lets. GO!"

I peaked out from under SBGP's hand. Maes? Who was Maes? Maes was...the alien?

"I cant Maes...I got--"

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

I screamed out from under SBGP's hand.

"--ta take care of Ed."

"Ed? You mean this is..."

"Ya Maes. THIS..."

SBGP picked me up and held me up to the strange alien named "Maes"'s face"

"Is Edward"


	8. Something Wrong

"OK! COMMENT'S TIME!

Here are the naming conventions

"Havoc"-Havoc  
Glasses-Furey  
Santa-Breda  
StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate-Roy  
Birdy-Hawkeye  
The Alien-Maes

Ok so yaaaaa...Ed didnt talk last chapter but the same rule applys this chapter.

StupidBrigiderGeneralPirate:It's an inside joke between my friends. Stupid refers to the fact that he let Maes die(And get married to a woman of ALL things ) Pirate refers to the fact that He's got an eyepatch(Arrg!)Brigider General is his rank at the end of the movie. Of corse KittenEd doesnt know this but hey It's my story and I can do WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT WITH IT!

Also: I'm RERERE-Obsessing woth Cowboy Bebop. Cant help it. Spike is The NEW Maes :D

"Edward? You mean...Thats him?"

SBGP nodded.

"This is Edward."

The Alien leaned close and checked me out.

"Are you SURE this is Ed? I mean he doesnt look like him..."

This guy smelled weird...and the sent was burning my nose.

"GET AWAY!"

I swiped at him and dug my claws into his nose.

"SHIT!!"

He stumbled backwards holding his bleeding nose tightly

"ROY!! LOOK WHAT HE DID TO ME!"

Suddenly something colided with my head and I cursed loudly. SBGP Hit me!! He hit me across the head!! He put me down on the floor and helped The Alien put a brown thingy that stopped the bleeding on The Aliens nose.

Something was wrong here...And I had to get to the bottem of it!!


End file.
